Taxation with Representation

As an update to my recent post at my weird stuff happens to me blog:

I've worked 33 hours in the last three days. I've experienced momentary lapses into feelings of contentment and relief... that I am replenishing my savings, I'm getting a little bit ahead, and I might even be able to reward myself with that Dyson vacuum cleaner over which I fantasize(yes, my life is THAT exciting)!

I'm operating on little rest, but as I began to map out my plan for the week, I included a response to the "little" IRS matter that I mentioned in my "napmare". So, tonight, I pulled the little love letter out and read the entire document. And upon further review, I find that I DO, indeed, owe the IRS four figures... for matters relating to the estate of my Mother (and previously my Father's pension fund).

Great. It doesn't seem to be enough that I've lost, with the deaths of my parents, the most precious resource I've ever had... but it seems that the government needs me to contribute further toward the upkeep of my dear Martha.

I have to admit that this has inspired a bit of anger in me.

My father worked, from the age of 11 until the end of his life, still happily employed full time, at the age of 62 years and 10 months.

He served our country in the USAF. He held office and served local government for many years, without payment. And he served the state for meager to moderate to justifiable compensation, due in part, to his conservative values, when it came to taxpayers' moneys and tooting his own horn.

Mother was very ill when Dad passed away. In the short remainder of her life, she drew a very tiny portion of the 51 years of Social Security contributions that my Father made. Because his pension fund also provided insurance for his beneficiary, she never qualified for most of the benefits of Medicare (much less Medicaid), whatsoever.

I thought that the taxes related to the settlement of this part of the estate, had been deducted. I'm not sure how or why THIS sum (tiny in the grand scheme of things, but not so tiny at this moment) might have been overlooked. On my part, depression has clouded my actions and lack thereof. I'm likely at fault, not intentionally... but because I know I've shut down. I've tried really, really hard... but the feelings of loss and hopelessness are sometimes overwhelming.

The very worst events that could EVER happen to me... happened. I was DEVASTATED by the loss of my Dad. My Mom suffered terribly, emotionally, physically and mentally, prior to her death. And when Mom passed away, I succombed, in many ways, to the meaningless acts of survival, estate settlement and moving forward. I worried 24/7 while she was in the realm of this world. I remained in an almost constant state of prayer and negotiation with our God. I cared more and stood strong against odds greater than I ever dreamed I had the strength to face.. I "willed" so valiantly... good health, happy thoughts, diligent prayers and God's blessings in her behalf... that when all my efforts failed... I just sort of coasted to a stall, nodded in defeat, eventually accepted, agreed, signed documents and went along to get along... in order to just survive my loss.

I KNOW that I'm not the only one who has suffered such events. For me, though, the emotional toll has far overshadowed any sort of financial resentment that I might feel. I know, though, how my Father would feel by the imposition of taxes and penalties on his son and daughter.

My brain isn't naturally wired to think solely in financial terms. It is a conscious effort, on my part, to plan and save and worry. I don't need a lot of material things, and I don't have to support a rich entertainment habit. I live relatively simply. Financially... I worry, only, that I might have to work all the way to the grave, in order to maintain my modest lifestyle. Enough BAD STUFF (stories for another day) has happened to me to make me worry about what's around the corner... as well as what (and who) I must learn to live without.

So, the sub-total is this... last week's overtime will assist in bringing Martha Stewart to "justice"... or may, perhaps, partially pay the tab on the very illuminating (hmmmph) 9/11 report .

The bottom line is that, if I were to run for office (and that's not a possibility, on account of introversion, personal ethics and many reasons I'm not prepared to discuss at this time!), I would propose a system of taxation with dedication, whereby the payer could explicitly name the areas of government he or she elected to fund or support. The government would be run on a budget, just like its contributing supporters establish, in which every dollar earned is dedicated to a certain expense, or savings.

No matter how dire my financial circumstances, I've always financially supported (albeit sometimes through time rather than money) charitable organizations that I deem worthy. Not only do I believe that the tax dollar directed toward certain social and domestic causes breeds abuse and disempowerment, but I also believe (perhaps idealistically) that the dollar given voluntarily seems so much more powerful than that taken by (legal and federal) heist.

My idealistic system of taxation and elective funding would, realistically, never gain the support of either party. Both parties would frown upon the empowerment of the masses. Republicans would resent the funds dedicated to stem cell research, and away from the preservation of the "sanctity" of marriage. And Democrats would surely find the system antithetical to their (seemingly communist and socialist) leanings, as ALL people would be empowered by investment, rather than subjogated by continuing weakness, addiction and self pity.

Yes, that's right. I said it. And now I'm having doubts about my own proposal. You see, my intention is not to disempower the poorer among us. Heck, I'm one of them! I just believe there's tremendous waste. And I wholeheartedly believe in the will to survive, and the old "teach em to fish" theory.

For me, for now, it's time to put behind me... the vivid dreams of the great sucking (Dyson) vacuum... and whip out the check book for the great (-------) governmental programs to which I, surely, owe my overtime. I only hope it buys Martha a sateen pillowcase and the occasional lobster tail.

If a blogger blogs in the woods...

Ok... so, I've gone blogless for a week. Have I suddenly become dispassionate? disconnected? or otherwise unopionated?

The answer is 'no'. What I have become is a slave to financial security (read survival) and the (few and far between) moments of rest and other (dead on my butt) mindless moments of stupor.

Don't think for a moment that I haven't debated (and blogged), in my own mind, the many immediate and compelling issues... girly men (get a life if you're offended), the (shocking) 9/11 report, racial (this one is VERY tricky) profiling, various criminal (don't you have to be crazy to kill someone on purpose) trials, the Democratic National (why limit the protests) Convention, and on a personal level.. the gutwrenching trials and tribulations of OFFICE politics (not to mention the professional slavery, of working 80 or 90 hours a week, in order to (1) compensate for overzealous promises, (2) overcompensate to reconcile the difference between actuality and statement regarding what has been accomplished so far, (3) endear oneself as a "team player" (like it matters one iota), (4) prove worthiness for a raise, (5) make up for some lost financial ground in the last week or so... and because (6)... (perhaps you don't know that) I'm a lifelong, dyed-in-the-wool, do-or-die, i'll-do-(almost) anything-for-love-and-acceptance, put-me-in-coach (i may be a girl, but i can hang with the boys) mentality, go-getter and... (7) SUCKER that can't say "NO".

I've spent a fair amount of time, in recent weeks, evaluating my position in life in comparison with my hopes, dreams and authentic self. I happen to have committed myself, contentedly and wholeheartedly to a profession, rife with either feast or famine. Famine consumed this past year... and with the feast before me, I have glutinously and diligently consumed as many hours of billable time as I can manage to endure.

Perhaps I'll grow a spine one day. Perhaps my life will, once again, be my own. Work is work. (And, yeah... right, perhaps I'll hit the lotto). Writing and thinking is my passion. Hopefully, one day soon, I'll contribute more regularly in this arena.

I can't wait...

Martha, Martha, Martha...

As everyone knows by now, Martha Stewart, convicted of conspiracy and obstruction of justice charges, was sentenced on Friday to five months in a minimum security prison, and five months house arrest (pending appeal).

I have very mixed emotions about the entire ordeal... from the charges to the conviction to the sentencing. And maybe more than the legal issues involved, I am disturbed by the media coverage and presentation of the last two and a half years.

For your consideration:

Print and television media has presented the story in a manner that has led a fair percentage of people to believe that she was convicted of insider trading. In fact, she was convicted (only) of conspiracy and obstruction of justice (yes, those are bad, too).

Ask yourself if you received a telephone call that alerted you to the fact that your stock holdings were about to tank... what would YOU do? I, personally, believe that if anyone has done something wrong (by legal definition... and I'm talking an insider trading crime, which initiated this fiasco), it is the person who placed the call. The receiver of such information, it seems to me, would be a complete (albeit within the letter of the law) moron to retain the tanking stock.

SIDEBAR 1: I recently received an email from a reliable source, notifying me of a lawsuit that was soon to be filed against one of the funds in my 401K investment portfolio. The email clearly stated that the success of the lawsuit would mean a hefty decrease (read tanking) value. And while clearly stating that the intention behind providing this information was not to encourage "dumping", it might be a good time to look at other investment options. Mistake or not, I continue to invest, monthly, in the fund. I confess that I am most certainly NOT an investment expert, and I haven’t' discussed the information with my financial planner. The fund HAS gradually decreased in value, as I continue to purchase more shares each month. QUESTION: Could the email have constituted insider trading? Am I a moronic investor? (OK, maybe the second question is rhetorical!).

SIDEBAR 2: A friend is from a rural area in a southern state. This friend has, on many occasions, reminisced, poetically, about the tastiness of a hometown doughnut. The company slowly begins to expand into new markets, including a shop along my route to work (replete, I swear, with exhaust fans which expel the fresh aroma of sin in a circle, to the surrounding neighborhood). This friend, via hometown connections, learns of nationwide plans of expansion, as well as the intent and date to go public. Is the 'carnal' knowledge of these doughnuts insider trading? [Ok, I know... this sidebar was provided for comic effect... but it really happened and I think, provides an example (albeit far-fetched) of the ease of which you gain information from someone who knows someone, and can ultimately be defined as criminal.] *Footnote: The Company went public, stock value doubled in two weeks and has steadily climbed. Never underestimate the value of a tasty doughnut.

Martha (just plain ole) messed up. She was wrong to attempt to cover her tracks. The charges and convictions have meant that she has lost hundreds of millions of dollars, but can she even miss that amount when she has hundreds of millions more? So, who has suffered most here? I believe the answer to be the employees who lost their jobs... the big and small-time investors in MSLO... and, of course, the common folk who find themselves with an acre of wild vine, leaves of color, and a variety of fruits and nuts... without so much as a clue as to how to create a fall wreath, much less dress a holiday table!

Local News “went to the streets” to gain reactions to Martha’s sentence:

Every person interviewed felt that the sentence was too light. Most added an “if it had happened to me, they’d have put me UNDER the jail” scenario. I challenge that viewpoint, as I have known a few people who have been ruthlessly pursued and convicted of similar white collar crimes by our Federal Government. Each was fined and sentenced to a short period of house arrest, followed by radial proximity arrest, followed by a period of probation. I believe that Martha, by comparison, received her sentence, due in equal parts to her celebrity and a show of power (does “because I could” ring a bell?), colored (read tainted) by her not-so-flattering reputation and stoic (read arrogant) public portrait (which I don’t believe to be a federal crime, in itself, otherwise, the prison system would be bulging at the seams and there would certainly not be an “assistant” on the air!). (please also see below).

A number of people "on the streets" opposed the sentence to a MINIMUM security prison. Come on, people! Do you, sincerely, believe Martha to be a flight risk??? Do you, sincerely, believe a heavier sentence to be the best value for your tax dollar? It is my understanding, too, that because there are so few women in the federal prison system, that minimum security sentences are served in other areas within the confines of standard to maximum security facilities (sans golf courses, tennis courts and luxurious gardens).

Martha is a 62 year-old woman. She wasn’t born with a silver spoon. There’s not a soul alive who could refute the fact that she has gotten herself, her company, and the people who have believed in her along the way, where they are... without self discipline, ingenuity, creativity, big dreams, a sharp business sense and tons of hard work. Is she hardened? Is she arrogant? Who, among us, is to judge her life experience? As a keen observer of human personality traits and behavior, I can tell you that there is a direct and proportionate relationship between outward displays of hardening and arrogance and internal feelings of fear and the capacity to feel intense sorrow and pain. Stoicism and arrogance are survival instincts. They enable the master to both meet great challenge and conceal great sorrow, loss and pain.

Please note, too, that MSLO stock began to rebound the instant the sentence was announced. Investors see the debacle coming, finally, to closure!

The bottom line, in my very humble, common folk opinion is this:

1. Martha has already served a 2-1/2 year sentence. And at the age of 62, that is significant.
Martha didn’t do anything that most of the rest of us wouldn’t do, given the same or similar circumstances.

2. Hypothetically speaking, if you “mess up” without the intent to hurt others, and had the financial means to, quite literally, make it right... should you receive a punishment that affects you personally for the short term, but punishes (exponentially) those who believed and invested in your ideas for much longer?

3. In all your festive heart, don’t you believe Martha Stewart’s many enterprises to be “a good thing”???! Personal note (like the whole blog hasn’t been my personal take): I own a Martha Stewart rake and it, both, works great AND is color coordinated with my several other MS garden implements and patio decor!

Given the choice, had you rather your federal tax dollar be spent in the ruthless pursuit and conviction of:

[a] Osama Bin Laden, international terrorist and all-round bad thing?
or
[b] Martha Stewart, domestic diva and all-round good thing?

The defense rests, but you might also want to visit SaveMartha! as well as MarthaTalks!.

No Small Step

Human rights were granted a small reprieve today as the constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage failed to advance in the Senate today. The vote to oppose constitutional oppression and discrimination failed, in part, because six Republican Senators joined forces with 43 Democrats and Independents.

My heart would like to believe that this is one small step toward acceptance within the more conservative party, as well as a direct reflection of a more accepting and respectful society.

In reality, however, the Republican opposition centers solely on the issue of states' rights. As Senator John McCain (R-Arizona) put it... "The constitutional amendment we're debating today strikes me as antithetical in every way to the core philosophy of Republicans. It usurps from the states a fundamental authority they have always possessed and imposes a federal remedy for a problem that most states do not believe confronts them." McCain also indicated that if the Supreme Court strikes down the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act, or if "state remedies to judicial activism fail," he would consider a constitutional amendment "appropriate".

So, put down that pipe, and make no mistake. This is no affirmation, no victory, no small step.

Again, I am (not surprised but further) disappointed by even the opposing members of the Republican party.

A question for my (gay and) Democrat friends, though... Two Democratic Senators were absent for this "critical" vote. Where were your Johns??? Don't fool yourself into believing that your interest in gay marriage is championed by the Democratic party!

I rarely discuss the issue of gay marriage with any of my friends or acquaintances. I think the reason is my discomfort with the incitement of (understandable) anger in my gay friends, and either (seemingly) patronizing commentary or restrained disgust in my straight friends. I'm not much of an activist, but more an idealist. I prefer to live my life as an example, trust in God, show respect, live by the golden rule... and hope that the rest of the world will do the same.

Yeah, I know... Signing out with my head in the clouds!

First Blog Jitters

Hello World.

As I tremble with First Blog Jitters, I will appreciate any and all who hang with me for the moment, and return again soon for what I promise (read hope) will be entertainment, perhaps enlightenment, and certainly comedy that is life as I experience it.

By way of introduction... I am a perfectionist and Virgo. I have a firm foundation of beliefs, and yet I'm a peacekeeper. I am also INFJ (Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging... emphasize the I). Anyone who knows anything of any of those traits will readily understand the jitters (read pressure) of the first blog post.

And while I'm exposing my vulnerabilities, another confession... I'm picky about details. It is the nature of both my character and my profession. And I'm STILL trying to figure out format tags and customizations (et al). Should you have any great words of wisdom (or simple directions!), I'm all ears (as they say, not literally).

And as I have pondered (for months), this moment has grown more and more overwhelming. I have a lot to say, a lot to share... but how exactly do I begin? And I have finally reached a compromise with myself... say nothing, but explain why.