Taxation with Representation

As an update to my recent post at my weird stuff happens to me blog:

I've worked 33 hours in the last three days. I've experienced momentary lapses into feelings of contentment and relief... that I am replenishing my savings, I'm getting a little bit ahead, and I might even be able to reward myself with that Dyson vacuum cleaner over which I fantasize(yes, my life is THAT exciting)!

I'm operating on little rest, but as I began to map out my plan for the week, I included a response to the "little" IRS matter that I mentioned in my "napmare". So, tonight, I pulled the little love letter out and read the entire document. And upon further review, I find that I DO, indeed, owe the IRS four figures... for matters relating to the estate of my Mother (and previously my Father's pension fund).

Great. It doesn't seem to be enough that I've lost, with the deaths of my parents, the most precious resource I've ever had... but it seems that the government needs me to contribute further toward the upkeep of my dear Martha.

I have to admit that this has inspired a bit of anger in me.

My father worked, from the age of 11 until the end of his life, still happily employed full time, at the age of 62 years and 10 months.

He served our country in the USAF. He held office and served local government for many years, without payment. And he served the state for meager to moderate to justifiable compensation, due in part, to his conservative values, when it came to taxpayers' moneys and tooting his own horn.

Mother was very ill when Dad passed away. In the short remainder of her life, she drew a very tiny portion of the 51 years of Social Security contributions that my Father made. Because his pension fund also provided insurance for his beneficiary, she never qualified for most of the benefits of Medicare (much less Medicaid), whatsoever.

I thought that the taxes related to the settlement of this part of the estate, had been deducted. I'm not sure how or why THIS sum (tiny in the grand scheme of things, but not so tiny at this moment) might have been overlooked. On my part, depression has clouded my actions and lack thereof. I'm likely at fault, not intentionally... but because I know I've shut down. I've tried really, really hard... but the feelings of loss and hopelessness are sometimes overwhelming.

The very worst events that could EVER happen to me... happened. I was DEVASTATED by the loss of my Dad. My Mom suffered terribly, emotionally, physically and mentally, prior to her death. And when Mom passed away, I succombed, in many ways, to the meaningless acts of survival, estate settlement and moving forward. I worried 24/7 while she was in the realm of this world. I remained in an almost constant state of prayer and negotiation with our God. I cared more and stood strong against odds greater than I ever dreamed I had the strength to face.. I "willed" so valiantly... good health, happy thoughts, diligent prayers and God's blessings in her behalf... that when all my efforts failed... I just sort of coasted to a stall, nodded in defeat, eventually accepted, agreed, signed documents and went along to get along... in order to just survive my loss.

I KNOW that I'm not the only one who has suffered such events. For me, though, the emotional toll has far overshadowed any sort of financial resentment that I might feel. I know, though, how my Father would feel by the imposition of taxes and penalties on his son and daughter.

My brain isn't naturally wired to think solely in financial terms. It is a conscious effort, on my part, to plan and save and worry. I don't need a lot of material things, and I don't have to support a rich entertainment habit. I live relatively simply. Financially... I worry, only, that I might have to work all the way to the grave, in order to maintain my modest lifestyle. Enough BAD STUFF (stories for another day) has happened to me to make me worry about what's around the corner... as well as what (and who) I must learn to live without.

So, the sub-total is this... last week's overtime will assist in bringing Martha Stewart to "justice"... or may, perhaps, partially pay the tab on the very illuminating (hmmmph) 9/11 report .

The bottom line is that, if I were to run for office (and that's not a possibility, on account of introversion, personal ethics and many reasons I'm not prepared to discuss at this time!), I would propose a system of taxation with dedication, whereby the payer could explicitly name the areas of government he or she elected to fund or support. The government would be run on a budget, just like its contributing supporters establish, in which every dollar earned is dedicated to a certain expense, or savings.

No matter how dire my financial circumstances, I've always financially supported (albeit sometimes through time rather than money) charitable organizations that I deem worthy. Not only do I believe that the tax dollar directed toward certain social and domestic causes breeds abuse and disempowerment, but I also believe (perhaps idealistically) that the dollar given voluntarily seems so much more powerful than that taken by (legal and federal) heist.

My idealistic system of taxation and elective funding would, realistically, never gain the support of either party. Both parties would frown upon the empowerment of the masses. Republicans would resent the funds dedicated to stem cell research, and away from the preservation of the "sanctity" of marriage. And Democrats would surely find the system antithetical to their (seemingly communist and socialist) leanings, as ALL people would be empowered by investment, rather than subjogated by continuing weakness, addiction and self pity.

Yes, that's right. I said it. And now I'm having doubts about my own proposal. You see, my intention is not to disempower the poorer among us. Heck, I'm one of them! I just believe there's tremendous waste. And I wholeheartedly believe in the will to survive, and the old "teach em to fish" theory.

For me, for now, it's time to put behind me... the vivid dreams of the great sucking (Dyson) vacuum... and whip out the check book for the great (-------) governmental programs to which I, surely, owe my overtime. I only hope it buys Martha a sateen pillowcase and the occasional lobster tail.